Top 10 tips for putting in the day when you really have sweet FA to do

1. Exercise by going to the park .

Apparently, this is good and good for you. I walked 2 miles today... really fast! I even jogged at one point! And it’s no walk in the park (well actually that’s exactly what it is) - there are hazards! If the randomly placed piles of dog shit or the stoop- shouldered, track suit wearing, spliff smoking, school ditching children don’t get you, the geese will.

They have all recently hatched their little goslings and are feeling mighty protective. And the swans – don’t get me started, those things are huge, they’ll break your arm! (I am not a fan of anything that flies, although The Trumpet of the Swan was my favourite book in first grade). So this is a major achievement – it also counts as going outside the house.

(the ducklings are cute but the geese are EVIL)

2. Clean the house.

Ha yeah right. I cleaned it once a month ago – do I have to do it again this month?

3. Watch the Gilmore Girls.

Seriously, why is this show so comforting to watch? Is it because the plot is so boring and nothing ever really happens but yet those Gilmores are growing and evolving anyway and they each own like 12 coats. It's h ard to find a nice winter coat. I think I’ve seen nearly all the episodes now except for the very beginning and the very end. It seems to be on a loop on E4 but I can’t seem to catch those all important episodes. I need to know, does Rory marry Logan?

4. Make lunch.

Take your time, make a really good sandwhich. This can involve chopping, grating, even sautéing if you are in the mood. Be sure to use good bread. You might have to go the bakery for some. Four hours later, make dinner. You’ll probably want to use a cookbook for this. Once you read the cookbook you will realise you have to go to the store. Good thing you still have a few hours to kill!

5. Look for a job...

When there are 0 jobs available this doesn’t actually take very long but apparently you have to keep doing it.

6. Do all the laundry.

This is both a productive and worthwhile activity and will make the house smell better. Your partner will really appreciate the clean socks and honestly, it can take all day. A day well spent I say! (But don’t iron, that would be madness.)

7. Read the internet.

There’s new stuff every day! Go figure. I am kinda starting to become disillusioned by facebook, but I do like to read the articles that other people suggest. Keeps me from looking at the same 3 papers and my usual blogs over and over. So thanks gang, keep suggesting things to make me a better read person – I need the help!

8. Make plans with similarly afflicted jobless friends involving free things to do.

Friday, I am going to the Botanic Gardens. It is free and green and has nice flowers and my friend and I will bring a picnic and some papers and possibly a deck of cards.

(picture of students, slackers and the jobless on the green at Botanic Gardens)

Isn’t this the sort of stuff you wish you had time to do when it’s a sunny day and you are stuck in the office? So you HAVE to do it now. It’s your obligation to make others jealous of your free time and not pity you for your lack of regular income.

9. Make stuff up.

I have a rich inner world, I honestly don't get bored, but making stuff up doesn't get much done either. As soon as you find yourself not gainfully employed, everyone will ask constantly what you are doing. After using up the other stuff on this list in your response, I suggest making stuff up. You’ll need to prepare your lies in advance which can make for hours of dilly dreaming. Take a few minutes now! I like to say charity work. Makes you sound like a rich lady who goes to fancy luncheons and thinks that in itself is altruistic. And you probably get to wear pearls for that right? Yes and cashmere twinsets. I can do that.

10. Is that not 10 yet? No?

I guess that’s my homework for tomorrow...come up with number ten. Or perhaps you can suggest one for me? (Such a lazy lady of leisure!)