Top 10 tips for putting in the day when you really have sweet FA to do

1. Exercise by going to the park .

Apparently, this is good and good for you. I walked 2 miles today... really fast! I even jogged at one point! And it’s no walk in the park (well actually that’s exactly what it is) - there are hazards! If the randomly placed piles of dog shit or the stoop- shouldered, track suit wearing, spliff smoking, school ditching children don’t get you, the geese will.

They have all recently hatched their little goslings and are feeling mighty protective. And the swans – don’t get me started, those things are huge, they’ll break your arm! (I am not a fan of anything that flies, although The Trumpet of the Swan was my favourite book in first grade). So this is a major achievement – it also counts as going outside the house.

(the ducklings are cute but the geese are EVIL)

2. Clean the house.

Ha yeah right. I cleaned it once a month ago – do I have to do it again this month?

3. Watch the Gilmore Girls.

Seriously, why is this show so comforting to watch? Is it because the plot is so boring and nothing ever really happens but yet those Gilmores are growing and evolving anyway and they each own like 12 coats. It's h ard to find a nice winter coat. I think I’ve seen nearly all the episodes now except for the very beginning and the very end. It seems to be on a loop on E4 but I can’t seem to catch those all important episodes. I need to know, does Rory marry Logan?

4. Make lunch.

Take your time, make a really good sandwhich. This can involve chopping, grating, even sautéing if you are in the mood. Be sure to use good bread. You might have to go the bakery for some. Four hours later, make dinner. You’ll probably want to use a cookbook for this. Once you read the cookbook you will realise you have to go to the store. Good thing you still have a few hours to kill!

5. Look for a job...

When there are 0 jobs available this doesn’t actually take very long but apparently you have to keep doing it.

6. Do all the laundry.

This is both a productive and worthwhile activity and will make the house smell better. Your partner will really appreciate the clean socks and honestly, it can take all day. A day well spent I say! (But don’t iron, that would be madness.)

7. Read the internet.

There’s new stuff every day! Go figure. I am kinda starting to become disillusioned by facebook, but I do like to read the articles that other people suggest. Keeps me from looking at the same 3 papers and my usual blogs over and over. So thanks gang, keep suggesting things to make me a better read person – I need the help!

8. Make plans with similarly afflicted jobless friends involving free things to do.

Friday, I am going to the Botanic Gardens. It is free and green and has nice flowers and my friend and I will bring a picnic and some papers and possibly a deck of cards.

(picture of students, slackers and the jobless on the green at Botanic Gardens)

Isn’t this the sort of stuff you wish you had time to do when it’s a sunny day and you are stuck in the office? So you HAVE to do it now. It’s your obligation to make others jealous of your free time and not pity you for your lack of regular income.

9. Make stuff up.

I have a rich inner world, I honestly don't get bored, but making stuff up doesn't get much done either. As soon as you find yourself not gainfully employed, everyone will ask constantly what you are doing. After using up the other stuff on this list in your response, I suggest making stuff up. You’ll need to prepare your lies in advance which can make for hours of dilly dreaming. Take a few minutes now! I like to say charity work. Makes you sound like a rich lady who goes to fancy luncheons and thinks that in itself is altruistic. And you probably get to wear pearls for that right? Yes and cashmere twinsets. I can do that.

10. Is that not 10 yet? No?

I guess that’s my homework for tomorrow...come up with number ten. Or perhaps you can suggest one for me? (Such a lazy lady of leisure!)

More WhinoRhino goes eating: Daft Eddie's - Sketrick Island

I must be getting old (ok, there has been recent actual calendar proof of that as well) because my nice little blog about drinking is slowly turning into a blog about eating – mind you there was abundant drinking too, don’t worry about me just yet!

Sunday was a loverly sunny day, the type of which we only get about 3 of in Northern Ireland so we were definitely going to do SOMETHING...besides sit around the house narking at each other. That’s why we have crazy Kerry... Kerry will tell us what to do! So we went to get Kerry and sure enough she told us about this great little restaurant on an island in Strangford Lough near Killinchy so off we went to Daft Eddie’s.

(photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/26568506@N05/2494725572/ )

This place has everything one could want on a summer’s day (and by summer I mean it must have topped about 15 degrees Celsius – break out the bikinis!), a nice big deck overlooking the harbour full of sail boats, a friendly bar fully stocked, and a menu comprised of battered fried things. There was even some nice ruins of an old castle on the island to look at and you know I love a good Irish ruin! I didn’t have my camera but thanks to flickr here is someone else’s shot of where we were sitting.

I had the scampi (fried) and criss-cuts (quite fried). Also on the table we had the fish of the day (fried), chicken gougons (fried), chips (obviously fried) and garlic chips (well duh). Oh and a side salad...something to cleanse the palate between fries.

It was here that I was introduced to the gin and tonic’s flirty sister - the pink gin. Loverly to meet her! All you do is add enough bitters to make the drink look slightly pink – colourful and you don’t get sick of the tonic taste like you can after a few too many regular G&T’s. Perfect summer cocktail. The gorgeous view did tend to put us in a rather dreamy mood though (or was it the gin?) and by the end of lunch we had plans to buy a 30 ft sailboat and possibly a nearby cottage. I think we might have to scale that back to renting a sun fish or two one afternoon.

Afterwards we took a trip up the coast to Donaghadee for what we are told is the best ice cream around at the Cabin (vanilla only – but very good indeed!) and the oldest bar in Ireland, Grace Neills (est. 1611). I thought I had already been to the oldest bar in Ireland when I was in Cork – what was that called? EE back me up here...something about a potato?*

So an ice cream, a walk on the beach, a sing song with the locals and one guy from Amsterdam in the pub, and several pink gins later it was time to go back to boring 'ole Belfast with a slight sun burn and the calories for the entire week ahead already consumed. Swell day out.

Epilogue: I was tired; I went home and sat on the couch. Crazy Kerry (her official title), born in the same year as I was, made plans to go out drinking some more that night because Monday was a bank holiday and she is a true whinorhino and thus obligated to get one more night's partying in – I might have to change the name of this blog, I am falling down on the job.

*Update: I have chatted with EE and yes we did go to a pub in Cork that claimed to be really old but Grace Neills definitely wins. I was thinking of An Spailpín Fánach in Cork (which means The Potato Picker - see I knew it involved potatoes) but that is a just a newbie in Irish pub terms - est. 1779. I also recall The Gateway Bar est. 1698, but still we have a winner in Grace Neills.

WhinoRhino Restaurant Review: No. 27 Talbot

I’ve wanted to go to this newish Cathedral Quarter spot for a while now, having heard good things, and turning a year older finally provided a reasonable excuse for a nice meal out.

The decor was modern, clean lines, chrome and black leather in the bar and dark wood tables in the main dining area with somewhat random, mix-matched art on the walls and a partial view into the kitchen. I liked the blue ceiling and the effect of the yellowed dimmed lights – not exactly romantic but atmospheric of some kind!

I had read a review that said the tables were too close together so I was a bit nervous (see previous bad experience with this!) but we were seated at small round table for two at the side of the room that didn’t look as if it would have this problem. I could see how the tables down the centre of the room might be at risk from neighbouring diners though. At 7:30 there was only one other table occupied on Tuesday night but by 8 the place was packed, still there was a sufficient buffer zone around me so that's ok! Coll was in cheesy music heaven as we sat down to the early 90’s crooning of some defunct boy band or other. At one point they played the song from Twin Peaks prompting me to try to explain that whole phenomenon (I was obsessesed with that show in high school) and why it freaked me out to hear that music in such an unlikely place.

But the food! Oh the food... well first of all the drinks. They had a few fancy cocktails on the menu so we had to indulge – I had the Elderflower Collins (Bombay Safire, elderflower something and sugar – yum!) and Colleen had something called a Grande Cosmopolitan (I don’t know what made it grande – maybe just a whole lotta vodka, but it was good too). I was going to order a bottle of wine but, as usual, we couldn’t agree so I just ordered a glass of red to go with my main and left Colleen to her Sauvignon Blanc. But I needn’t have worried as the glasses held a very generous pour and it was more than enough to get me through dinner after a couple aperitifs!

I craved every single appetizer on the list but I also wanted the steak so I didn’t want to fill up too much. We split the goat’s cheese salad starter and it was loverly, but I could smell the scallops that I really wanted cooking and regretted being sensible momentarily - until my steak came. It was massive and topped with a giant glob of flavoured buttery calorific goodness. Cooked perfectly, medium rare, it was tender and juicy, melt in your mouth delicious. I’ve been on a bit of a vegetable kick of late and haven’t had a proper carnivorous feed of red meat in a long time and damn it felt good. There were also red roast pepper slices and fresh spinach leaves hiding underneath the steak and it came with pomme frites that must have some secret ingredient in them – I consider myself quite the chip connoisseur but these were something special! Anyway, I was glad (ish) that I had split the starter ‘cause I couldn’t quite finish the steak, it was so large. Colleen had the lamb and said it was really good too, but I was too busy slurping up my food to notice what hers was like (I would normally have stolen a bite or two to sample but I completely forgot to!)

Of course, it being a birthday occasion, I had to get desert (and another glass of wine), and being the traditionalist that I am I got the crème brûlée which had real vanilla bean flecks in it and although it was of mercifully small proportions, it was so rich and sinful I fear the spring diet has been set back a few weeks. Colleen, being a freak of desert nature (there was no “sticky toffee pudding” or “banoffee” on the menu) just had the sorbet, which I did remember to taste and which was definitely the more sensible option, but I make no apologies for my over indulgence.

So with the exception of the weird musical stylings, I give No. 27 full marks. I’d go back for another crack at the scallops and those chips!